Insufficient
Lord, the more I live and learn and grow, the less I become. More like, I realize more fully how I am nothing. The closer I get to you, the more I see how stupid my pride is. The more I understand who you are, the more I realize how disgusting my sin is, and then I am utterly overwhelmed by the magnitude of your grace.
Lord, I am finally beginning to see how insufficient my efforts are. I’m finally beginning to get that I can bring nothing about through my own planning, strength, best efforts. The picture of who I really am is starting to have a little more clarity: that of a broken, limp sinner who has been forgiven, healed, and cleansed entirely through the power and mercy of my God, and who breaths and walks and speaks only because you ordain it. And I am beginning to see that life makes more sense when I surrender and just praise you, rather than fight you.
Lord, I don’t want to be the woman in Ezekiel 16, but I know I am. So this is me, coming before you again, trying to thank you with the nothingness that I am. I am nothing. I have nothing. But I know that you can pull somethings out of me if you so desire. So take my sinful nothingness and breath pure somethingness into it. I am insufficient, but you are extravagantly more than sufficient. You are beauty and purity and wisdom and passionate love. All I’m asking is to have a taste of that which I know is so far above my comprehension.
Put words in my mouth, strength in my limbs, direct my steps and fill me with songs of glory to you. Give me an unending thirst for your presence and a passionate love for your church.
Lord, I’m finished with faking somethingness. Take my insufficiency and work your thrilling, glorious will.
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